A few weeks ago, Ro turned 1 year old, which is insane. It's been the longest shortest year for us. Some days, the hard days, feel like they go on forever. The repetitions are constant. We've gone through so many diapers, so many wipes. I have nursed him (and pumped, blah) everyday for almost 13 months. But while some days are long, most days are too short. The weekends are too short, and the months go by too quickly. He was just a newborn that could fit in the crook of my arm. All of a sudden he is up to my mid-thigh and will only sit in my lap for longer than 1 minute when he nurses.
It's a weird thing, watching someone grow physically and mentally so quickly and up so close. Sometimes it feels like he could only lay there and then I blinked and he has 7 teeth, is trying to walk and can purse his lips and say "hoo hoo" when we talk about owls. Everyday he takes risks and tries new things, and l am in awe of him.
When I first went back to work and he was only 9 weeks old, I was so terrified. I was terrified I would be missing out on so much with him or to the extreme, that he wouldn't miss me or would always prefer Bobby over me. Looking back over the past 12 months, it seems silly to me now. I work a lot and I am gone during the day, but when I get home, it feel like I haven't missed much if anything. I might not get his entire day, during but I get so much. I still get his big smiles, his laughs, his new tricks. I get his snuggles and bedtime kisses. I get his wake ups and early mornings.
Ro isn't alone in his growth over the past year. Bobby and I have learned so much about being present, unselfish, understanding, forgiving and adaptive. One of my earlier posts was about my issues of accepting my flaws as a mother and learning not to be perfect. This is something I still work on everyday, but I can see progress. Ro slipped in the bath the other night and he hit the faucet right near one of his eyes. He got a little cut right by his eye and it bled for a few minutes. He was tired, teething and hungry, and it was traumatic. I was barely keeping it together. A few minutes later, the bleeding stopped, and he was happy and snuggling. Today, he has a little scab and no problems. This time around, I'm not beating myself up over it. I've learned my lesson. I shouldn't have let him stand up without me in the tub with him. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to keep him safe and loved.
It's hard to believe he's only been with us a year. What would our life be like without him? I can't really even think about that honestly. It seemed fitting that our guy deserved a party! He loves owls and foxes, so woodland friends it was! it was a small party, but I think Ro loved the attention of some of our family and friends.
We tried to do a lot of the food and sweets on our own, which was fun and challenging. Bobby made the cake, which is a Momofuku Milkbar Birthday Cake. He was able to use the leftovers from the big cake to make Ro his own tiny cake, which is probably the cutest thing ever made, right?
I made the sugar cookies with Bobby's help. The cookie recipe I used was actually pretty simple. The multiple color icing was easy to make, but cookie decorating takes some serious practice :/ I'll share the cookie and icing recipes on a separate post soon because they really were great guides.
I got better as the cookies (and night) went on, but they are so far from professional. That being said, they were very good and I'm pretty proud of myself.
I know everyone says a baby's first birthday party is really more for the adults, which is partly true, but in Ro's case, I think he knew it was for him. He loved the crowd and crawling from room to room. He particularly loved the cake, which we eventually had to take away from him. Honestly, we don't ever entertain and throwing a party, even for a small number of people, we exhausting. But I would do it over and over again for him and those gleeful smiles and looks of wonder. Can't wait for the next one :)