We originally decided to start this blog several months ago, when Ro was about 4 months old (hence the February date above). In between then and now, so much life happened. This little idea was pushed aside, and we had so many excuses. I also had some fears. What if no one reads this? What if no one cares? Why did I want to do this again? Lots of self-doubt that basically made me pause. But over the past few weeks, I haven't stopped thinking about this little blog we made and all the things we want to share with the world. I see friends and people I don't even know trying new things every day without worrying what people think or prematurely deciding that they will fail. I decided it was time to go for it. Who cares if two people read this? Who cares if some people think this is silly? Who cares if sometimes life might get in the way? We want to share our experience and have a creative outlet and that is enough.
I wrote the text below back in February (with some necessary updates). I was proud of it then, and I still am. So here we are and here is to letting go of unnecessary anxiety and fear!
Meet Ro, our beautiful, nine-month-old baby boy.
When we found out that I was pregnant, it was surreal. We obviously knew this baby was growing inside my belly, but it wasn't until we settled on his name that we realized "ok, this is happening; he will be an actual human with an actual name." When we were thinking about names, we wanted something unique but practical. Something that felt familiar to us but also felt new. We decided to name him after Bobby, whose name is actually Robert. But we weren't keen on Robert (no offense to all the Roberts out there!), and we already had our Bobby. Bobby was committed to finding a good nickname for Robert, and he offered up a lot suggestions: Ronan, Rowan, Bertie, Bert. They were good, but they just didn't feel right. Finally, he suggested Ro, and admittedly, I was hesitant. I had never heard Ro as a name, and it felt almost too unique, and maybe even a little odd. Bobby loved it, and anyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for anything Bobby related, so I agreed to think on it. I wrote the name on a post-it and stuck it on my computer at work and on the fridge at home. At some point, it creeped into my brain and heart and just stuck. This baby was Ro.
After we decided on his name, we couldn't stop saying it. We talked to him all the time. Bobby would send me a text every day when I was at work asking me how Ro was. My family decided to call him "Ro baby", which to his dismay will probably stick until college. It was like naming him somehow made it all feel more real to us.
When he was born, it was this perfect, emotional, wonderful experience. He was finally here, and we were thrilled. But truthfully, it wasn't until we were home from the hospital, with our parents gone and Ro crying non-stop that it really sunk in--we are the PARENTS of this living, breathing boy. We had no experience or any idea of what to do. Of course we read all the books; we are both planners and preparers. But there was no way for us to understand or anticipate what it would be like, what it would require, or how our lives would change.
Bobby has always been a handler, a caretaker. He is smart, steady and reliable. He grew up with two little brothers and has always been a big brother, giving advice and direction (solicited or not). In our marriage, he has always been the one to handle the adult stuff--bills, groceries, dinner, looking up how to unclog a drain, making sure I have gas in my car. So I don't think either of us were surprised when he jumped into the "dad" role so easily. What I don't think either of us anticipated was that (1) we would decide for him to leave his job and become a temporary stay-at-home dad and (2) he would be so good at it.
I've always been committed to my career. I knew in high school that I wanted to be a lawyer, so that was that. I didn't entertain any other ideas. I went straight through school and started working right after I graduated law school. I never considered being a stay-at-home mom. I always wanted kids, but I also always wanted my career. My mom always worked, and I had a happy, fulfilled childhood. I was never worried my future children would suffer or be unhappy if I worked. Then I had Ro. Like every working mom I'm sure, every day I'm torn between wanting to provide for him through my career and wanting to provide for him with my presence. Of course it's tough, but I know i'm lucky. Most days, I can leave the house without too much guilt because I know Bobby is with him.
We both always knew we wanted to be parents, but it wasn't until we had Ro that we realized how much we would enjoy it and how much it would change us. Sometimes it feels like our lives only revolve around being tired, talking about milk or looking at pictures of Ro on our phones. But then something happens. He rolls over, he sits up, he crawls or he lets out these adorable, loud belly laughs. And we know it is so much more. We're young and new to this, but we are learning so much about raising a family and making it work. It's hard, but it's brilliant, and we want to share it.
So here we are. It's a little scary sharing our thoughts, feelings and experiences, but it is something we want to do. We want to talk about all of it from our favorite baby products and recipes to home DIY attempts and even our struggles. We hope you follow us and be a part of it.